Serious topic

Well..... have a very serious topic I would like to write about... Friends, Politics and Health Care.....

Just got off the phone with a great friend ... was a friend..... I sent them a copy of the first four points this health care bill will deliver this year.. This e mail was not lies, distortions or made up facts... It came right from the White House... In my email I said... like him or not... please just read these four points. I also pointed out why I felt health care so necessary.. ie... my husbands' health issues alone.... and the cost of paying for Cobra when Joe left CVS for Walgreens... if we did not pay for Cobra, we would have let our insurance lapse.. therefore, ALL of our health problems would forever be considered "Pre Existing Conditions"..... So we paid $2,574. to continue coverage.... I am happy we had the money to do so....

I tired to explain my point of view and just asked others to read the bill.....

Well...... the phone call I answered was from a person who was upset.. her husband was more upset that I sent the e mail to them.. They requested I no longer send e mails regarding that subject... Since my friend does not work on the computer any more.. her husband does, I doubt that anything I send would be passed along.... According to the tone of her voice when she called, I doubt that we are even friends anymore...

My motto for many many years has always been ... Never talk politics, relgion or money.... I just felt in this case that to be informed is so important.... not only about this health care bill, but everything..... So, I broke my own cardinal law.... and sent the email.... How I regret doing that...

However, what I don't understand is why we can't talk to each other about issues, without it getting so nasty and personal... It seems my older friends are the most put out with me...
I always thought about going back east for a visit with them...... My heart is heavy... I don't think we can EVER go back.... Once words are spoken or deeds done.... We can't take them back... even with a sincere apology, those words and deeds linger in our minds and memories... Oh, I wish I didn't forward that e mail.... I wasn't trying offend, lecture or change anyone... just thought I was passing along vital factual information...

Now I ask myself .... Liz... would it not be easier just to shut yourself off from the world? Total retreat? My answer is YES ..It would be easier.... Right now at this moment .... Yes, that is what I want to do.... I want to protect myself and my feelings..... Just cut myself off ..even from those I admired and thought to be great friends. Sometimes I do that .... just for a few minutes to regain my confidence and sense of being able to carry on... I put up the cement barrier.... Right now, I feel so low... that I think I wll keep up that barrier..... I need to regain control of my feelings... and put the deep hurt on the back burner.... so hard to do...That is why I write.... I know no one is reading this... It somehow helps me put my feelings into perspective.... I know I am not always right... most of the time I am wrong.... but I feel we in the 21st century & could talk about lifes' issues... Guess I am wrong once more.....

For now, I need to re think what I have done, why I did it and what is my next course of action. Do any of you ever feel like this? Defeated? Underseige? I pull myself up, just to be knocked down harder than before.... Do I apologize? Do I forever go through life not giving my opinion? Not talking with people ? Shutting myself off? Retreating? That seems to be the safest way for me to live my life.

From personal experience I should know to keep my mouth shut, mind my own business, keep to myself about everything..... Is that living or existing? What is the safest for my own peace of mind.?

What do you think? Any suggestions? Gosh, I sure could use a few.... I'll be waiting for your reply....

Bye for now.... Sad Liz