Serious Talk

Yes, serious talk.... I have spent most of my day trying to understand what I did wrong. My heart is still heavy, I wonder how many others I sent that e mail to.. will no longer want to be my friend.

I just addressed all my Easter cards ..somehow I wonder if they will even be opened by the recipient....Why? I keep asking myself....I feel like a ton of bricks are bearing down on my very soul.... What makes me want to give back to family, friends and community.....My incentive to help, be there for others and just function in the every day tasks.....I am afraid to participate, I am afraid to speak to anyone for fear of "HI" not sounding right..... I am afraid to park my truck in a spot .... too close to anyone else....

WHY????????

I passed a home this afternoon ... they flew the American flag...... UPSIDE DOWN.... which means defeat...... Is it no wonder I want to shut myself off from the world?????

Joe had a person come into the pharmacy last week, too many doctors and too ..way too many oxycodone, vicodin etc.... Joe called the doctors office to confirm... they confirmed, but said NO more.... Joe filled the rx , and asked the man not to come back into the store... Seconds later, his father came into the store like a maniac.... how dare you call the dr! How dare you ..... you racist, you.................................................. Joe is not a racist, the store manager and all the techs were with him.... they told the man Joe is not a racist... he does not judge anyone except how they treat him and his staff..... They had to call 911..... I feared for Joes' life.....I drove down to the pharmacy, waited in the parking lot, and watched everyone that came and went.... anyone who looked like the "wackos"... I was ready ... ready to run him down.. I pictured he had a gun, pistol, shotgun whatever... I feared for Joes' life..... Thank God, he never came back...

Is this how we now live our lives? In fear? Fear of words? how you say the words? How we look, clean, dirty, scummy or whatever.. wrong side of town? Which e mail you should forward, verify, not send..... Everything from political views, religious views.... IS THIS WHAT LIFE HAS COME DOWN TO?????

Shouldn't we as friends, overlook some things our friends do wrong? Or something they said wrong? Shouldn't we give them the benefit of the doubt? Whatever happened to forgiving? or over looking....? Don't we all at one time or another say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing? I understand if we keep making the same mistake, or saying the same thing over and over again and we are aware it offends, then we should speak out...In a kind, calm way....

As you can tell ... I am very hurt... disappointed and sickened.... Shutting myself off from the world sounds better and safer every second.....I know I will get over this.... thought I knew how to handle situations like this... like I said in my very first posting...I thought I would know the answers to so many questions and how to handle situations....Obviously, I am right on one thing. I don't have the answers.....

Bye for now.... heavy hearted Liz